Perhaps the most important thing in raising children is the example we adults set for them. This also applies to the relationship between parents. Children see everything, absorb everything like a sponge …
I have a woman I know who has a happy and friendly family. She and her husband have a great relationship. They already have an adult daughter and an adult son, who are happy to communicate with them. Together with their grandchildren, they happily spend time. Once, while discussing the topic of children, I asked her how she managed to achieve such harmony in the family. And this is what she said:
“In fact, everything is simple. I have never raised children, I have always helped them grow up and develop on their own instead. I never looked at children as my property and never projected my personal plans and dreams onto them. I didn’t turn children into my projects. I am just a door through which they entered this world in order to find themselves, to reveal their potential, to live their own and happy life.
After their birth, I focused, first of all, not on them, but on myself and on love for my husband. The children saw our mutual feelings and our dawn. They fed on our sincere emotions, which we happily shared with them. Through ourselves we filled them, and we continue to fill them with warmth, affection and care.
Of course, I have always helped them in all their plans and dreams. But these were precisely their plans and dreams. I didn’t bring them up. I always asked them for permission, whether it was possible to help, suggest or advise.
When they became adults, I let them go into adulthood with a light heart. They chose their partners for themselves, and after the wedding, I never interfered in their relationship. In their families, they themselves debugged and configured everything the way they like, and not the way I would like.
This is their life, they don’t owe me anything. I never sacrificed myself for them. And she never demanded anything from them. I revealed myself and my love for the best man in my life. And therefore, they sincerely love me and their father, who was the best example for them all their lives. An example of how a man can love a woman who does not completely switch to children, to the detriment of the most important relationships in her life. A woman who, with all her heart, helps him spread his wings and take off.
Throughout life, my children have become independent and mature people who have built happy and loving families according to our example. And now they just love us so much because we are. And because we are all interested in spending time together. Explore and get to know this wonderful life. “