It is such a simple secret of the path to his heart that you can practice it every day.
Our beautiful and beloved women! Your jaw would just drop if you ever heard what we are discussing with married men. Why did she hang there? You just wouldn’t believe it! Each of our words is the complete opposite of what you think of us and what you think.
In fact, husbands do not want to hurt their wives at all. They do not want to be angry and annoyed. They do not dream of total control. And they do not at all think “about only one thing,” as women believe. They really really want their women to know the truth about them. And they despair at the thought that this will never happen. And through no fault of theirs.
The power of gentle touch
The truth is that we men know for sure that a woman can move mountains with a gentle touch. That is, her strength lies … on the tips of her delicate and fragile fingers. The most offensive thing is that most women do not even suspect what power they have. And many simply ignore it and do not consider it necessary to apply it.
It is so simple, so touching that we are even … afraid to admit it. Let alone hint or ask. Yes, we even hardly discuss this with each other! Nobody wants to be seen as a mumble or a romantic from a cheap melodrama. After all, women can take this desire of every man for a manifestation of weakness.
So what is it?
This is the power of true tenderness. Magic skin-to-skin touch. Your sincere acceptance and approval of us. A signal that we are appreciated, loved, awaited …
When a woman gently touches her fingertips … it’s incredible. And if at the same time he utters such necessary words for us and non-verbally assures us of his support and approval … Ooooh … Our world just turns upside down in these minutes.
It is so powerful that men are simply speechless. Believe it or not, a lump rolls up to your throat, and your eyes fill with moisture … We just melt in this incredible moment.
This is what happiness looks like. If it was possible to compare our sensations with a bottle of champagne, then its cork simply knocks out to heaven. Champagne bursts out, bubbling and shimmering in the sun with incredible rainbow colors. We just freeze. The heart stops. Breath freezes. If you only knew how important it is for us, how we suffer without it!
Every husband, I’m sure, just wants to feel it. And there is nothing supernatural or unrealizable in this. Simple and gentle touch. Feeling supported. You are needed, you are appreciated. Nothing more. It’s just … This.
Here’s what men around the world have to say about the feminine power that is at their fingertips:
These are not fictions, but excerpts from surveys and studies. Notice that in each case, a note of vulnerability erupts, which men carefully hide behind strength and masculinity. For a second, imagine their faces, timbre of voice, intonation, when you read the answers …
USA: “We were sitting side by side in the cinema, and suddenly she put her hand on my knee. She looked tenderly, smiled, and said: “I am so happy that you took me to this particular film. Thank you, dear”.
Canada: “She casually slapped me on the back and said:” Well, you and a stallion! “
UK: “She just patted the top of my head with her fingers. It only lasted a minute, she didn’t say a word. But it was amazing! “
Turkey: “She touched my elbow and gently whispered:“ You are just an amazing father, gentle and caring husband. I love you so much!”
Switzerland: “When I told my wife about my idea of where to go on vacation, she grabbed my hand and said:“ This is wonderful! You are wonderful! I love you more than anyone else in the world! “
New Zealand: “We were driving in a car, and suddenly I felt her move towards me and gently scratched the back of my head. I continued to drive, followed the road, but I was just drunk with happiness. “
Why don’t men want (or can’t) talk about this magical power “at their fingertips”?
Everything is very simple. We think we’re going to look weak in your eyes. That is, it will look stupid. Not “manly.” Too vulnerable for us …
We are afraid that you might just make fun of us. “Well, how can touching or a few words cause a lump in your throat?” – you decide. Even when we nevertheless decide to say this, we often see only rolled eyes and a completely stunned expression on the faces of their wives.
This is the main reason why husbands are silent and do not admit their desires. Most of them have already tried to “reach out” more than once, but either they were ignored or simply did not understand.
In her brilliant article “I Am Patriarchy,” Jonalyn Grace Fincher listed 17 of the most striking examples of women denying men the right to vulnerability. This article continued the discussion started by Brené Brown (book “Great Daring”) about male vulnerability:
“We almost demand and persuade men to be vulnerable. We ask them to let us into their hearts. Open your soul. Tell and confess all your fears and doubts. But the truth is that when they become vulnerable it is too much for us. We can’t stand it. At the same time, most women almost shy away from fear. A whole gamut of feelings is read in their eyes: from deep disappointment to disgust. And men are not blind. They see and understand everything. “
So, dear women, we suggest that you familiarize yourself with the list of things that can literally bring a man to tears. But not from happiness, but from pain. Yes, you heard right! Make you cry! Adult and courageous men.
Note that many of them experience this on a daily basis. But they dare not tell you how they feel. Tell them how unpleasant it is for them and how painful it is. They are afraid that you will not understand, ridicule, consider all this nonsense, and they are weaklings and alarmists.
So, we read, remember, analyze, draw conclusions …
You don’t want to kill your marriage and love, do you?
- When a woman believes that her man is inferior (worth nothing, “rag” and so on). Only because she has to do manual labor due to the fact that he went somewhere or got sick. For example, if she clears snow in the yard during her husband’s business trip to another city.
- Avoids eye contact when the man is feeling overwhelmed or depressed.
- When he takes something entirely upon himself , emphasizing that a man is incompetent in this matter or does not understand anything.
- Believes that if a man does not show emotions in any way (closes) – this is absolutely normal. That is, one should not even pay attention to such things.
- Get angry, taunt or feel ashamed when a man is afraid of something.
- Expects him to take on the hardest work (no matter what: emotional, physical, intellectual, spiritual) and at the same time will exude exclusively strength and confidence. It is strictly forbidden to complain to him: “After all, you are a man.”
- Never asks a man what he fears or worries about. Denies him the right to understanding and sympathy, while generously endowing them with his close friends and acquaintances.
- Expects that he will patiently endure all critical remarks : “After all, you are not a muslin girl – take offense at once!”
- Demonstrates his impatience and irritation when a man is not too quick in something: from repairing a broken kitchen sink to booking plane tickets, calling a taxi or filling out a tax return.
- Assumes terrible busyness and coldness when a man asks for help.
- When a woman knows a lot more about the needs and needs of her friends than about what her own husband needs.
- Hides his mistakes from children , as if he has no right to them, or becomes almost a monster, making mistakes in something.
- Expects a man to be stronger than all superheroes put together . Well, even more so – than the woman herself.
- Expects him to always take on more work.
- Expects that a man should always take on all the unpleasant and dirty work.
- Expects that he will come running at the first call with a gun to check every suspicious rustle in the house. Naturally, there can be no question of any fear or hesitation.
Why do you need to know about it
For women:
A lot depends on your behavior in a relationship. In fact, you have much more power and wisdom than you realize. Your ability to show your feelings and tenderness can move mountains.
And you don’t have to do anything complicated. It’s just that every day and every minute to be a real woman – gentle and caring.
Think about what you should stop doing today and what you should start tomorrow to change your relationship for the better.
You have super-powerful strength – why not use it for good?
For men:
Accept this. That you really need tenderness. The touch of her fingers to your soul. Support. You need this woman’s strength.
Her touch of acceptance and approval is very pleasing to you, and you want it as much as possible. Tell yourself the truth: you need these physical touches, gentle and encouraging words like air.
Don’t be embarrassed by your vulnerabilities and needs. On the contrary, take pride in the fact that you need the strength that lies at the tips of a woman’s delicate and fragile fingers. Speak about it boldly and without fear.
Say what brings happiness to you. And they will definitely hear you. And it will give strength. Will bring happiness.
Source: To love forward