From time to time, everyone felt a prick of envy, although this feeling destroys a person from the inside. To stop being envious means not only to start treating people kinder, but also to learn to respect yourself. How can you get rid of envy and start living freely?
1. Analyze your thoughts and think about the reasons for your envy
Does it seem to you that someone is more beautiful, happier, more successful than you? When you understand exactly why you feel negative towards them, you can start working on yourself, instead of being jealous of the person who has achieved your desired goals.
2. Explore the emotions behind your jealousy
Often, envy only masks real emotions. You may be experiencing frustration or defeat at this time in your life. Sometimes it’s easier to project these feelings onto the outside world than to realize them and think about your own situation.
3. Do not judge, lest you be judged
Everyone knows that a book is not judged by its cover, and the same goes for people. Perhaps a person with a brilliant social life suffers from anxiety attacks behind the scenes. And happy family photos on social media hide a crack in a relationship.
Instead of judging, try to empathize.
4. Give credit to your own accomplishments
Each of us is at our own stage of life. Suppose you are single, and all your friends are already married and have children. You may feel resentment that you got less than others, but perhaps those same friends are jealous of your freedom.
Work on what you do, what you can be proud of, and pay attention to the positive everywhere.
5. Look away
If your thoughts are possessed by someone or something that arouses jealousy and bitterness, then you may suddenly find yourself spending more and more time thinking about this splinter. The spiral of negativity draws you to the bottom, so find the strength to break the focus, look for something more inspiring, and shake off jealousy before it takes over.
6. Be honest about the reasons for your dissatisfaction.
Jealousy is a toxic quality in relationships, but it is quite common. If you have experienced pain or insecurity before, speak these concerns out loud to build a platform of trust and respect.
7. Concentrate on self-confidence
The main reason for envy is low self-esteem. After all, if you are happy in your life, love your body, and are content with your decisions, you won’t have time to compare yourself to others or get jealous.
Write down a list of the things you do well that you are proud of, and set goals for yourself – however small.
8. Learn to cope
Learning not to feel jealous is a way of thinking. The key is to let go of grievances, build a solid foundation of self-esteem, and learn to empathize.
If you know you have a tendency to be jealous and want to get better, find your own way to deal with those thoughts when they come up. This could be deep breathing, meditation, heart-to-heart conversations, journaling, or just jogging to shake your brains.
9. Listen to outside opinions
Do you have any real reason to be jealous? If so, you should honestly discuss the problem and find solutions. However, it is completely different if you created it only in your head.
Talk about your jealousy with a trusted friend or therapist. A fresh look from the outside can notice at what point your mental constructions do not fit into reality.
10. Be pragmatic
Your brain is a powerful machine, capable of grabbing onto an idea or object it perceives as a threat and demonizing it. If you are jealous of someone, your subconscious mind sees danger in him and adds fuel to the fire of envy, which can destroy your whole life.
Ponder or speak – what exactly are you jealous of? Does he have something that you need, or is he somehow better than you?
What are your goals (not his, yours!) – write them down, and then step by step think through the actions that you can take to achieve what you want.
Compare your goals and the position of your opponent at the moment. How long did it take him to get there? Did he have the same starting conditions? Does he have support and resources that you don’t have?
Sometimes you can turn jealousy upside down by thinking about it through the prism of rationalism and conscientiousness.
It may be that you are jealous of someone because he achieved the goal that you yourself dreamed of.
By realizing this, perhaps you will understand that the best possible way is to take into account other people’s experiences and start working towards the desired goal. In the end, this is the answer to the question of how to get rid of envy and become a little better.
Ask for help, be honest, and perhaps the object of your envy will help you achieve the most ambitious results.